Cross Captains and Kitty Cats
by Sakura Tsubari
Summary: A humorous one-shot featuring the 10th Division's captain and lieutenant. And a cat. Please R/R!


**Cross Captains and Kitty Tracks- A _Bleach_ One Shot**

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"_Kya~!_ It's so cute!" Matsumoto Rangiku, the lieutenant of the Gotei 13's 10th squad, squealed.

"What is?" asked her white haired captain, Hitsugaya Toshiro, looking disinterested but asking the question anyway.

"The kitty!" The buxom fukutaicho pointed excitedly at a small, tri-colored bobtail kitten in the window of a little Seireitei shop.

"Never mind the cat. We can only stay out so long; then we have to return to squad headquarters. I explicitly remember a large mound of paperwork hiding under your desk, Matsumoto."

"Aw, you weren't supposed to see that, Hitsugaya-taichou!"

A vein popped on the captain's forehead. "How could one miss that much paper if it's sitting on the floor in plain sight?"

"What? I didn't hear you."

"Never mind, just keep walking."

"But the cat's so cute! Besides, the shop has a sign that says 50% of revenue from kitten adoptions today goes to 12th squad!"

"I can see the sign, now shut up."

"Come on, Shiro-chan!"

Another vein joined the first. "That's _Hitsugaya-taichou_ to you, lieutenant!"

The fukutaichou had disappeared, however, and the short captain was left alone, standing in the middle of the street. He sighed. The lieutenant was being uncooperative again. He stalked down the narrow road, scanning the shops for any sign of Matsumoto.

~10 minutes later~

The said busty shinigami walked out of the adoption center with the bobtail kittten in her hands. The shop clerk at the counter had tripped over himself to give the kitten to her when she asked for it.

She had quickly filled out the pesky adoption forms that had asked for her squad and whatnot and handed them to the clerk. Instead of looking them over and signing them, he attempted to flirt with her. However, he wasn't all that pretty and had a bit of a paunch, so Matsumoto ignored him.

She quickly picked out a dark pink carrier and food and left the adoption center with the cat, whom she snuggled to her ample chest. "I'm naming you after my zanpakutou! From now on, you're called Haineko."

~Three blocks over~

"Matsumoto!" the angry 10th division taichou called out. "Buy that cat and you're doing all the squad's paperwork for the next month! And the money to take care of the cat will come out of _your _salary!"

Hitsugaya stopped and sighed. That damn Matsumoto! She was such an impulse shopper, and often took the money to cover her expenses out of the squad's funds, thus lowering his budget. Sighing again, he located her reiatsu three blocks down.

He flash-stepped there. When he reached the street where Matsumoto was, he sat down on a bench and ran his hands through his hair. _She causes me so much stress it's unreal. _He stood up, locating the vice-captain.

She was stroking the kitten and calling it Haineko. As he watched, she bent down, flashing the passerby, and put the cat in the pink carrier she appeared to have bought. He stalked towards her, and, giving the woman an imposing look, with fresh veins popping on his head, Hitsugaya spoke. "Matsumoto."

She giggled at his expression. "Yes, taichou?"

"Return that cat, now." It was obvious that he was attempting to withhold from yelling.

"Aw, why?"

"We cannot care for a cat with the busy schedule we have."

"Taichou..." Matsumoto gave a pleading look that any other person of the male gender would be unable to resist. "I can't just take it back..."

"Yes, you can. Captain's orders."

"Please?"

"No."

"Aw, it's just a little cat, Shiro-chan!"

"I told you, that's HITSUGAYA-TAI-" He was suddenly cut off as he was glomped by Matsumoto. He couldn't continue his sentence as his head was trapped in 'The Valley of the Gods', as Kon called it.

"Mmphtsu... mmpho... Lmph me gmph!*"

"Not unless I can keep the cat!" She smirked and squeezed harder.

"Finph...**"

"Yay! Arigatou, Taichou!" She hugged him even harder and then released him. Picking up the cat carrier with the kitten in it, she said, "Let's go. The paperwork is waiting!"

"Yes. By the way, Matsumoto, did you even pay for this... Haineko?"

"Nope!" She smiled and walked away quickly to escape the wrath of her angry captain.

"MATSUMOTO!"

_Finis_

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***This translates as "Matsu... moto... Let me go!"**

****Fine**

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**Well, how'd you like it? I didn't spend too much time on it so it's not my best work, but please let me know your opinion and click the review button! It's not too hard... XD**


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